A Taco in Every Pot

As the Great Depression loomed on the American horizon, Herbert Hoover's presidential campaign slogan was: "A chicken in every pot, a car in every garage."

Didn't quite work out that way. Not only was a chicken missing from every pot, most people didn't even have a pot to pee in. The only thing in empty car garages were crickets chirping.

Last week,, Marco Guitierrez, the founder of Latinos for Trump (oxymoron?) sounded a similar note when he warned if we didn't get immigration under control, there would be "a taco truck on every corner." Gee Marco, you make it sound like a bad thing. It's already a reality here in Texas and no one is complaining.

There's nothing more ubiquitous on the modern American landscape than the taco: soft tacos, crispy tacos, beef, fish, bean, veggie tacos, breakfast tacos, lunch tacos, dinner tacos, midnight snack tacos. When I lived in McAllen, Texas in the Rio Gande Valley, there were taco concessions in the gas stations! There are in fact already taco trucks on every corner. So what is Gutierrez talking about?

There could be a coded message in the filling of that little taquito he tossed out about a taco truck on every corner...Aztlan. Gutierrez is promoting the fear of Hispanics, especially Mexicans, populating and taking over all of North America and re-creating the mythical origin of the Aztecs, Aztlan. Kind of hard to imagine Aztec temples and pyramids popping up in Des Moines, Iowa, Poughkeepsie, New York or Altoona, Pennsylvania. But a taco truck on every corner, that's a dog whistle that conjures up a scary visual.

Thank God Trump went down Mexico way and had a mano a mano confrontation with Mexican President Peña Nieto to lay down the law on this immigration problem. But at first, it was not clear why Trump was going down there on such short notice. Rumor had it he was either crossing the border to score some dope, work on his tan or get a tattoo in Tijuana.

Okay, I confess...I started those rumors.

They had a private meeting, so who really knows what went on. I have an idea.

Trump is the ultimate Wrestle Mania candidate; trash-talking, bragging, insulting, self-promoter. But since he was a visitor and guest in Mexico, I think he agreed to go Lucha Libre-style against Peña Nieto. So they both donned appropriate costumes. Trump became Trumpkin the Pumpkin and Peña Nieto became Mucho Macho Man. After a wrestling match filled with headlocks, armlocks, dredlocks, Goldilocks, noogies on the forehead, nipple pinching and twisting, (Ouch! that hurt just writing it), throwing each other against the ropes, and a few body slams, they quit and showered. Whether they showered together or separately...quen sabe. Afterwards, they held that overly polite, boring, yawn inducing press conference for the cameras.

Trump: "Enrique, can I call you Hank? Hank, you're one tough, hard homre. You Mexicans are great people. I love all of you, believe me.

Peña Nieto: “Gracias por nada cabron. You're very soft."

Trump: “I extend my teeny, tiny hand to you and call you amigo, compadre, compañero, hermanito. Mexico and America are friends. Oh, by the way, this suit I'm wearing was made here in Mexico, but when I become president, they will be made in America...by Mexicans. Sorry Hank."

Peña Nieto: "No importa. Y por la ûtima vez, Mexico nunca pagará pur su maldito pared.”

Trump: "Fine. You people can just go back to selling t-shirts to tourists."

Or selling tacos on every corner in Aztlan USA?

Well, if Gutierrez's nightmare scenario of a takeover by Hispanics of the United States is realized, I guess those future Aztlan USA politicians running for office will be promising "a taco in every pot."